Kryptonite

New York Legend Chain & Padlock

Go ahead, bike thieves, try to help yourselves to the lovely singlespeed that’s been left chained to a back-alley dumpster for four straight days. You’ll want to bring some heavier tools, though, because it’s secured with the Kryptonite New York Legend Chain & Padlock, which won’t part for anything less than a chainsaw. (Actually, a chainsaw might not even get through the 15mm 3T hardened steel chain links.)

A sledgehammer to break the padlock? Good luck, since the shell is reinforced and shrouded for extra protection, and the 16mm Max Performance steel shackle is almost strong enough to tether the moon to the Earth. Maybe you can twist the lock until something inside snaps? The double deadbolt design makes that a virtual impossibility. Your only hope is to find one of the three included stainless steel keys, which come with Kryptonite’s free Key Safe Program replacement guarantee. A better idea is probably to just go and buy your own bike.