You Are Backcountry: Best Beard Contest
Backcountry.com’s online community encompasses a passionate group of wanderers, adventurers, Gearheads, and athletes. Get the rundown on the raddest happenings within the Backcountry community in You Are Backcountry, your connection to the best product reviews, photos, and videos submitted and uploaded by our athletes, our employees, and you!
In this installment of You Are Backcountry we’ve compiled the best community-submitted gear reviews with beards on Backcountry.com … and we’re running a contest! Vote for your favorite Backcountry beard in the comments below – the most votes wins this manly Patagonia Fjord Flannel to complement his facial achievements.
Backcountry.com Customer Service Gearhead Matthew Pizza is a veritable font of manly beardliness. His name alone can summon hunger in the bellies of humans and fish alike. He can play a ditty on his banjo faster than a Category IV hurricane. When he casts his fly rod on the shimmering waters of the Provo River he has been known to immediately and simultaneously land five whoppers. Patagonia is his weapon of choice to make the ladies swoon, as shown here in the Pima Cotton Shirt and the Roger That Trucker Hat.
A thing of majesty, the beard of Community adventurer Dan blocks the ferocious chill of winter as he ascends mighty peaks with the Scott Riot Ski Pole. It has been said that Dan can tame a wild lynx with a whisper. He typically consumes three kilos of Tabasco-flavored waffles on days that end with the letter ‘y’. Dan adores puppies.
Behold the before and after photos of community member Seth’s expedition to wrangle a herd of 346 wolverines near Talkeetna, Alaska. He did this on foot with his bare hands while wearing the Marmot Alpinist Jacket and the Patagonia Trucker Hat. Seth has completed the Iditarod Sled Race four times eating only blueberries and wearing a jacket hand-stitched from a grizzly pelt. Seth enjoys long walks under the Northern Lights and caramel apple pie.
Backcountry.com customer David Steele may appear harmless enough in his Mammut X-Shot Headlamp. You may be surprised, however, to learn that he is celebrating a victorious arm-wrestling duel with the third-largest grizzly bear in his home state of Montana. David’s famed iron grip serves him well as he guzzles a can of Montana’s finest brew, the Cold Smoke Scotch Ale of the Kettle House Brewing Company—in just one single sip.
Below, Group Sales Rep Mike C. (left) and Backcountry Gear Guru Travis T. (right) make for a dynamic duo in the Smith IOX Goggle. No snowstorm could deter either of these bearded devils in their search for face shots. While training to grow longer ‘stashcicles, legend has it that Travis invented the ice-bucket challenge. Mike, on the other hand, prefers to smash entire snow cones in his face in one blow to prep for face shot nirvana.
Though Backcountry.com customer Hunter L. may look sweet with his ice cream cone, he can easily gulp down 3.25 cones in as many seconds – while driving. When he spies an ice cream truck, he can halt it with his bare arms and devour the contents within 21 minutes, leaving a pile of wrappers and popsicle sticks so thick that he must don approach shoes to scramble down.
Backcountry.com customer Scott moonlights as a lumberjack every 3rd weekend in the hills of Tennessee sporting the Filson Cloth Lined Ranch Jacket. He only need work every three weeks, as he can demolish a grove of trees in 1/6th the time it would take four men. He does this after having consumed seven cups of the blackest coffee and four pounds of the finest wood-smoked hickory bacon from his favorite mug.
As Mr. Buck proclaims, “With a mustache comes great responsibility … one must grow icicles.” Here, he shows us how it’s done, below his Oakley Canopy Goggles. When Mr. Buck wishes to chill a warm 24-pack of PBR, he simply shaves off his frozen man fur and sprinkles the whiskers atop the cans. Fear not, it only takes him 7.5 hours to regrow a fresh batch of frigid whiskers. The colder it is, the faster they grow.
And for all you men out there who need some assistance reaching a more hirsute state, please refer to Backcountry.com Athlete Noah Howell’s endorsement of Brogaine, a product just for men!
Now vote for your favorite Backcountry.com beard! In the comments below, name the man who, in your opinion, sports the most Goatworthy beard. A winner will be announced on November 1, 2014.
May the most baaaa’aaaadass beard win!