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Lift Lines & Pick-Up Lines

You get one chance to get things started, and then it’s either a love-sprinkled snow romance or the most awkward lift ride of your life. See if you can tell which of these ski resort pick-up lines actually work. (Hint: pretty much none of them.)

Nice Skis

It’s a fine opener, but if you aren’t ready to follow up with something … I don’t know, interesting? … you’re going to land on your face.

Wanna get a few turns in on my corduroy?

Back to the bunny hill, buddy.

Can I nose press your box?

And they say romance is dead.


Ever wonder how one word can sound so hopeful and so condescending at the same time?

If your hands are cold, it’s warm under my thigh vents.

No fabric is breathable enough and no merino can wick fast enough for anyone to ever want to put their hand in there.

Wanna see what’s under my topsheet?

Fine, but I won’t promise not to laugh.

What do you and the mountain have in common? Tonight, you’re both getting 8 inches.

… or 6, or 10, or 4, the number doesn’t matter. You’re going home alone.

Help me work on my pole plant?

No, never.

What’s your DIN?

It’s 555-5555.

Your beacon batteries might be low, because it took me all day to find you.

Good point, we should all go check our batteries.

How do I find the trail that leads to your heart?

Check the resort map, I guess.

Does this lift go to heaven? Because you’re an angel.

If I were an angel, I’d be dead, and I wouldn’t have to listen to the most boring pick-up line of all time.

There’s an après party in my bibs. You’re invited.

Fine, I’ll come to your party, but just to say hi, and I can only stay for a second.

Wow, you’re rocking pretty tall skis for such a little lady.

Pro tip: Unless you’re a cowboy who is actually riding a horse, never call anyone a “little lady.”

Mind taking those goggles off so I can see heaven?

I would, but this conversation hurts my eyes.

Wanna hit?

When it works, it works.

My CamelBak is full of whiskey.

Ding ding ding ding ding!



The DOs & DON’Ts of Skiing: How to Not Be a Beater


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