25 Signs You Had a Good Time Camping Last Night
There’s an art to making party in the mountains, and the morning aftermath is the true measure of a masterpiece. Here are 25 signs of success.
1. Your muscles are sore.
Maybe you did several sets of tree-branch pull-ups. Maybe you invented backcountry bowling. Maybe you won a stump-kicking contest. Evidence of any feat of strength is a sign of a good time.
2. Your throat is sore.
Preferably from singing “Ghost Riders in the Sky” or “The Goddamn Dutch” on repeat, but we’ll also accept throats that are sore from howling at the moon or gargling hot toddies.
3. You woke up in the dirt.
Bonus points if you’re using a pointy rock as a pillow.
4. You woke up in someone else’s tent.
And you’re dressed like Rambo and ready to fight a bear.
5. You woke up in someone else’s sleeping bag.
Hopefully that person is in the sleeping bag, too.
6. You woke up on an inflatable sleeping pad in the middle of a lake.
“Shut up! You don’t know me! I’m going to go sleep on the lake!”
*Grabs the last beer and stomps off.*
7. You’re sticky.
And the source of your stickiness is unclear.
8. Your secret diary of personal mountain thoughts is in the fire pit.
Feeding a personal document to the flames is a sign of true dedication to keeping the fire (and the party) going. Burning your driver’s license, fishing permit, trail map, or picture of your significant other also qualifies.
9. No one brought a guitar.
Squirming awkwardly while guitar guy sings “Wonder Wall” and stares meaningfully into your girlfriend’s eyes does not signify a good time. The absence of bongo drums is also a good sign.
10. Most of your empties have holes poked in their sides.
At a certain point, this becomes the most practical way to drink beer at a campsite. Bonus points if there are some empty Champales in the mix.
11. Your favorite flannel has been converted into a loincloth.
Pro tip: If you arrange it so one sleeve is in the front and one is in the back, your cozy new loincloth can double as a diaper!
12. You reel in the fishing lines you set the night before…
…and they’re baited with Jiffy Pop. Bonus points if you eat the Jiffy Pop. That marshy aftertaste really wakens the senses.
13. Your buddy won’t stop talking about how he met his spirit animal.
“It told me that everything I needed was right here in the forest. It told me to dig for burritos. I think I found one.”
14. There are potty words and juvenile drawings scrawled in the dirt.
The Mars Rover knows how to party.
15. There was a rustling in the bushes…
…followed by park rangers checking everyone’s IDs. Bonus points if everyone in your group is a decade older than the park rangers and you all hightailed it into the forest anyway.
16. Your mustache tastes like whiskey and burnt mustache.
Pro tip: Shots of Buffalo Trace and flaming ‘mallows = face fire.
17. Your eyebrows are caked with melted chocolate.
Nothing like a good old-fashioned s’more fight.
18. A hobo ate your hobo dinner.
Hey, it beats roadkill.
19. Everyone decided to get matching “friend tattoos”
A.k.a. hot-dog-roaster burn scars. Bonus points if the tattoos say “I Heart Hot Dogs.”
20. Your friend wanders out of the forest at 11 a.m., naked.
And he’s sticky.
21. Your bear-spray can is empty.
And it’s among your collection of now-empty hot-sauce containers.
22. There are burn holes in your down jacket
…and for some reason they’re exactly at the nipples.
23.There are pine needles in your underwear.
Which is weird, because you arrived at your campsite commando.
24. Your camp neighbors flip you off on their way out in the morning.
The ones who were camped on the other side of the lake.
25. Your friends still like you and want to go for a hike.
After a nap.