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Robotic monkeys from space will overtake the earth, and you will be called upon as the last line of defense. Best grab a shotgun, the Von Zipper Polarized Metal Stache Sunglasses, and start practicing your one-liners in the mirror now. Polarized, impact-resistant lenses will shield your eyes from the glare of their primate death rays, and wire-injected temple cores hold these shades securely to your face so you can dive between areas of cover while spraying lead. As the dust settles, stand atop the pile of rubble that used to be earth, tip your Metal Stache shades down to your nose, and utter something in a deep, throaty voice like, 'Time to rewrite the evolutionary chart,' or 'This shit is bananas, and I'm the here to clean up the fruit.' Damn, we just got goose bumps.

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