I don't care about the moon, but can it work as a purse substitute when I go to Venice with my laptop, water bottle, and a bunch of other stuff? I need to be able to take it on the plane along with my carry-on suitcase and it also needs to look reasonably urban rather than something I might take on a hike.

You hit the nail right on the head! Osprey rants : " Next generation materials for a day in the life of the eco-groovy urban warrior".

you could us it on the trail or jet setting to Venice and stay hydrated with the 7" mesh water bottle holder, while sealing some deals with the 3.5"X5.5" padded cell phone holder.
Rock the waistbelt or the shoulder strap. Buy one for your nanny too!
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