Slamp

Slamp

Slamp's Passions

Hiking & Camping
Snowboarding
Running

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Slamp

Slamp wrote a review of on June 17, 2013

5 5

I love them they are comfortable and durable, but I usually buy shoes that suck and these shoes made me hate every other pair of shoes I have ever owned. I now feel I have to spend money on my shoes instead of just lifting the occasional pair from local thrift shops. Definitely get fluo orange every one is jealous.

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Slamp

Slamp wrote a review of on May 20, 2013

1 5

My initial reaction to this hat was amazing but as time went on I started to see some problems. First I enjoy being alone occasionally but with this hat I had ten to fifteen women following me everywhere. Second it?s not that it's irremovable it?s just that I can't take it off because I immediately feel a part of my soul missing. Also it sucks because I don't get to see it. I thought i would solve this by buying my friends some so I can see them. I got them and they were too awesome for my friends so now I wear five hats. I now think I am a polygamist because I have a hard time saying no to women and I have had at least seven women propose to me.

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Slamp

Slamp wrote a review of on May 13, 2013

5 5

Possession of this hat instantaneously makes one more desirable to every living creature on earth. If worn with the three wolf moon shirt one gains the ability to bend space and time. The combined powers were initially deemed too powerful for mankind but DC did it anyway. now they are being sued by god but guess who will win. the dude with the combination three wolf moon atire... thats who.

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Slamp

Slamp wrote a review of on October 19, 2012

5 5

Familiarity: I've put it through the wringer

Picture yourself lounging in a hammock after a tenth of a mile hike, you are dead tired and can?t lift your arm to eat your gallon can of chilly with a regular spoon. Your are surrounded by squirrels and you notice a wild boar munching on apples, that have recently fallen off of an apple tree, not too far off to your left. As you barely manage survival whilst you attempt to eat chilly, suddenly, the boar transforms into a celestial valkyrie that slowly migrates towards you. As you lay in your hammock dumbstruck fear comes over you and wish to flee but then realize you are paralyzed from your agonizing trek. The Valkyrie takes the spoon that you had been trying to eat the chilly with, and transforms it into the Stoic Spork. She then begins to feed you like a baby and all of your worries, aches, pains and fears of dying were you lie, are lifted from you. Your soul is then released into the clouds and you float amongst the squirrels. And that is exactly what it feels like to eat with the Stoic Spork of destiny

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