Oakley

Bottle Rocket Sunglasses

You can pass it off as an accident if you run into a tree once while you're jogging, but if it happens again, you probably can't blame it on the glare. Save yourself the embarrassment, and the bloody face, by picking up the Oakley Bottle Rocket Sunglasses, which reduce glare with impact-resistant Plutonite (actually mined on Pluto!) lenses that'll also protect your lamps in case of unexpected collisions. Plutonite also filters out UVA, B, and C rays so you won't go blind from natural causes, either.

To keep the Bottle Rockets on your face when you're running, biking, doing 1000 push-ups, throwing hatchets, or doing whatever it is that you do, Oakley made the frames out of super-light (and top secret!) O Matter, and designed them with a non-slip Three-Point-Fit, so you don't have to interrupt your rhythm by constantly having to push your shades up your nose. Sticking with the top-secret theme, the Bottle Rocket's temple pads are made of Unobtanium (we'd tell you where it's from, but then we'd have to, you know...), which actually increases grip when it gets wet, so there isn't any sweat-slip that'll have you crashing into more stationary objects.

Proposition 65 Warning for California Consumers: This product contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and/or birth defects or other reproductive harm.