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Needed: Professional, determined, ex-bum to be cold-weather model for the cable-knit, potential girlfriend-approved Element PDX Beanie. This candidate cannot sport the PDX while skating, as it's upper-echelon style is vital to the fall and winter cougar hunting season. If seen on skaters, the PDX will lose fashion luster and send you back to the park to hit on recent grads that have no money to take care of you all winter.

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