Electric Calico Belt
Holds up your pants or drapes over a telephone line to allow you to quickly escape from a rooftop zipline-style.
Mmmm... the Electric Calico Belt enjoys waffles, Sunday morning radio, and a nice pair of slacks. What? You don't own anything called a 'slack', much less two of them? We mean slacks as in pants, like your jea... oh, never mind.