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Beach closed due to a great-white infestation? No worries, just tie up your Billabong Women's Meg Board Short and volunteer for the VFW's charity dunk tank out on the pier. Thanks to these soft-to-the-touch shorts, your bikini bottoms will stay intact when you drop from the mechanized seat into a vat of raspberry lemonade and stale beer ... turns out that due to budget cuts, it's all those guys could afford.

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